October 20, 2017 nydia

Taking care of yourself when rape culture is all over the news

With the recent Weinstein scandal, sexual assault has been on everyone’s timeline. For us survivors of sexual traumas, this can be bittersweet. Although we know that breaking the silence around rape and abuse is a must for our societies to rid themselves of these ailments, hearing about it in a context where abusers often have as much if not more air-time than the survivors can be retraumatizing.

Whenever I see a headline about survivors denouncing their trauma, my heart is filled with so much love and pride for them. But within a split second, these emotions are replaced with fear. Fear of how the journalist will choose to handle their piece and fear of the backlash our societies reserve for such denunciations. Will the survivors be blamed, or put on trial on the public arena while the abusers will automatically be given plausible deniability?

Can you relate?

When these fears are confirmed, that’s when I decide to check out and encourage you to do the same.

Yes, we are survivors and yes, we are intrinsically part of these conversations. But we also get to choose when and how we engage with them. No one has the right to make us take part in them or pay attention to them. We do it at our own pace, when and if we feel like it and always, always, always, guilt-free. Sometimes, checking out is what feels right. It helps me regroup and recenter myself.

Checkout can take many shapes and forms but identifying a go-to feel-good thing before we get triggered can go a long way. I call it my Self-Love Emergency Kit. It can be meditation, writing in a journal, taking care of flowers, rewatching a favorite TV show, and the list goes on.

I foresee that we’ll be hearing more and more about rape culture. For this reason, I think that we have to make the time to take care of ourselves more than ever and allow ourselves space to determine how we want to engage (or refrain from engaging) with this new reality.

Our Self-Love Emergency Kits can play a key role in this. If you don’t know where to start, 21 Days of Self-Love is a great place to start. It’s a free 21-day challenge where you receive right in your inbox exercises to help you (re)build a loving and nurturing relationship with yourself.

I created this challenges because when I realized how much my self-love tank was on E, I didn’t know how to fill it up. The tips I share will help you jump start your self-love journey and make putting yourself and your wellbeing a priority easier and clearer.

The challenge starts on December 1st. Save your spot here and tell a friend. I know doing this work can be intimidating, but you got this love and you don’t have to do it alone.

Looking forward to walking with you on your path to unapologetic self-love.