It seems that in the past weeks, we’ve been hearing more and more about rape culture. Whether on our Facebook timeline, or in major news outlets, this taboo issue has managed to cross over into mainstream.
For us survivors, this can be bittersweet. Although we know that breaking the silence around rape and abuse is a must for our societies to rid themselves of these ailments, hearing about it in a context where abusers often have as much if not more air-time than the survivors can be retraumatizing.
Whenever I see a headline about survivors denouncing their trauma, my heart is filled with so much love and pride for them. But within a split second, these emotions are replaced with fear. Fear of how the journalist will choose to handle their piece and fear of the backlash our societies reserve for such denunciations. Will the survivors be blamed, or put on trial on the public arena while the abusers will automatically be given plausible deniability?
Can you relate?
When these fears are confirmed, that’s when I decide to check out and encourage you to do the same.
Yes, we are survivors and yes, we are intrinsically part of these conversations. But we also get to choose when and how we engage with them. No one has the right to make us take part in them or pay attention to them. We do it at our time, at our own pace, when and if we feel like it and always, always, always, guilt-free. Sometimes, checking out is what feels right. It helps me regroup and center myself.
So this week, let’s think of what we can do when we feel the need to check out. Identifying a go-to feel-good thing before we get triggered can really go a long way. I call it my Self-Love Emergency Kit. It can be meditation, writing in our journal, taking care of our flowers, watching a funny TV show (have you seen Insecure??), and the list goes on.
I foresee that we’ll hear more and more about rape culture. For this reason, I think that we have to make the time to take care of each other more than ever and allow ourselves space to determine how we want to engage (or refrain from engaging) with this new reality.
Our Self-Love Emergency Kits can play a key role in this.
What will you put in your Self-Love Emergency Kit? I want to hear all about it. Share it with the rest of us on Facebook!
Have a wonderful, self-love filled week.
With so much love and admiration for your journey,